Against All Odds

I don't embarrass easily.  My face might turn red real quick, but I'm not embarrassed.  I took a lot of the I-Don't-Give-a-Fuck gene from my dad.  Actually I think that Ava & I snatched up all the IDGaF gene & left our siblings with nothing.  Other Sister might want some of this gene, but it isn't a great thing to have running through your veins.

I think that I fully shave (3 fingers past the knee) my legs twice a year.  I half-ass shave maybe 6 more times a year.  That's being generous.  Pedicured toes & well moisturized feet are not something that trek through my house.  Loud in a store?  Yep, that's me.  Poop conversations.  Yep, I'll have 'em with your Grandma.  An almost completed sweater that's just not "doing" it for me, I'll frog it & not think twice.  Most of the time I just don't give a fuck.

But lately, I've been feeling a new emotion.  There's something that the IDGaF gene hasn't attacked yet.  I feel very uncomfortable taking pictures.  I'm good when my kids are in the frame.  If they aren't there, I can't seem to take a picture without a lot of inner drama.  And if I do fire off a shot, I feel almost ridiculous posting the picture for friends & family.  Maybe it's because I really have no clue what I'm doing when it comes to taking pictures.  Maybe it's because I might have to defend why I choose to shoot a a coffee cup.  And my defense is always so simple: It was pretty.  Do people get that defense?

This emotion is troubling because I've been thinking a lot about photos.  When I'm on the road, I'll see a barn & think, "Look at the sky.  That'd be a nice photo."  Or "Hmm, that's an interesting sign I'd like to remember."  But when you don't have the IDGaF gene working in your favor, it makes whipping out a camera difficult.  Why would I worry about what strangers are thinking about the crazy woman & her camera?  I don't like this feeling.  I need to find that gene & show it the camera.

There must be something to cure this aliment.  Does it come in pill form?

L

Comments

[kelly jo]

first comment - wow, that's never happened before! anyways, why not just shoot the picture and then if you don't like it, or how it turned out, pull that gene out and delete the picture! No harm, no foul in that right?

[Ava]

Ummm . . . it comes in bottle form, usually sold by the case! And I might have gotten the photo IDGaF gene since I don't - but I do often wonder what the neighbors think when I am manipulating skeins of yarn on the back deck for a shot.

[gonzomama]

first of all, i can ditto the entire second paragraph.

and second, i definitely think joining some groups on flickr will be good encouragement. you will find encouragement from people who 'get' the coffee mug shot, no explanation needed. its hard to get the feedback though if you're not putting the work out there and even then it may take some time. start commenting on other people's photos, too.
i have no clue what i am doing when it comes to photographing things either (i'm trying to educate myself - the technical stuff just doesn't stick), but i really enjoy it. liberate yourself woman! take a shot, and then take a shot with your camera!

and that second shot is awesome. his little fingers, the batman shirt paired with the bats on the inside cover of the book, great focus! share your stuff.

[Lola]

Or by the box if you get any gene from Mom. I can manipulate yarn all day long in the backyard. Ask me to whip it out while eating outside, even with the kids, & we've got a different issue! When you guys come to town, I'll bring it with me & photograph our trips. Force me to do it.

[Amy]

Came to you from gonzomama. Love this.
I suspect the IDGaF gene can be "turned on" to express itself in photography by finding photo buddies who swoon at your work and do amazing work themselves - i.e. being taken seriously, by studying your "place" through photos and documenting obsessively - i.e. taking a bazillion pictures of your dirty floor (not that your floor is dirty , but mine is). And by scrutinizing photographers you love and mimicking. It is like everything else. I know this b/c I turned my gene on that way. It was suuuuuper latent, I was so intimidated, and I don't think I'm much good but I enjoy it, enough to defer to my genetic prowess. Kinda lke this:
Don't like my pictures? Good, IDGaF, and there is someone on flickr whodoessothere.

I think there is a pill for it too. Vitamin DB, for deep breath.