A couple weeks ago, I helped a friend register for her first baby. It was nice to actual feel confident and comfortable during this process. When I did it for Gus, I felt like an alien. How many of these? What do you do with that? You really do need one of those? I felt like an impostor. I was certain that someone would see me fumbling & try to rip off my belly. Like I had taken the time to stuff it & fake a waddle.
We went down every aisle. Laughed at some of the absurd baby items. Talked about practical baby items. But we got to one aisle where I had to throw my hands up. I told her that this is where I get off. We're pretty bad a baby-proofing. Allow me to take you on a house tour of what the Baby Proofing Aisle thinks we need.

Look at that edge?!

There's a "sneeze" guard that will stop little fingers. By the time Tuck can reach, he should know "hot".

No lock. At least the cleaners won't kill him. Vomit, maybe.

Another hard edge. And corner to make it even worse!

Where's the lock, Lola?

That little button is exposed just to be pushed and pushed. And PUSHED!

Too many wires for a little one. Sorry about the dust.

He'll eat anything.

Knees unprotected. I bet that they're all red underneath.
I do understand that baby-proofing is necessary for some children. I am not trying to make fun of babies' safety. A baby gate is invaluable for stairs. Sometimes I just feel like it's too much. I think companies scare us into these products because we love our kids.
I'm done with my Baby-Proofing rant. Promise. I've got some ends to weave. There's an almost finished Moderne Log Cabin sitting on my chair.
L
p.s. I do not make it a habit to let Tuck eat the vacuum cord. I had this post almost written in my head & he provided a nice photo op.
You are right--there is way too much crap in this world--and the knee protectors are just absurd.
I gotta say, I did get the fireplace edges covered eventually, my son though the hearth was a stage and liked to perform there. And it gave me a stroke everytime he tripped on the rug in front of the fireplace.
Posted by: cath | March 04, 2009 at 10:57 AM
i agree with you on this. the only we baby proofed was where the cleaners are and a low cabinet that had our coffee mugs (breakable) and some snack foods. the one with the mugs is irrelevant now seeing as how henry can open the child proof locks. as for the fireplace, i just laid a quilt over it to soften the blow if it were to happen. and i did put the door knob cover on henry's door. but on the inside so he couldn't get out. and he has been able to work the dvd player for the longest time.
there is way too much stuff out there. the knee pads are entertaining though. i swear i saw a catalog pushing a helmet to protect the kids head from bumping corners and tables when they crawl or learn to walk. that one was the craziest i've seen.
Posted by: gonzomama | March 04, 2009 at 02:29 PM
Ummm, you know what I had for the girls . . . nothing. Not even a baby gate.
Posted by: Ava | March 04, 2009 at 05:08 PM
it is funny, isn't it? that we protect our kids from the most common of things. we did a bit but then i just gave up and started teaching them 'hot' and 'cut' and 'ouch'. they get it, oh yeah, they do. may take some trial and error but they get it.
the only thing with a lock is the spice drawer, this after i found them shaking it all over the kitchen floor. and the coffee cabinet. because, oh my god, the thought of my kids hopped up on coffee is truly nightmarish.
Posted by: mamie | March 06, 2009 at 12:20 AM