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November 10, 2007



Aw, man, cut me some slack! At least I stopped writing about puking with passion!

And besides, if I actually DO knit this sweater in the next couple of months so that I can wear it sitting on the couch through the long pregnant winter, it will be a miracle almost in proportion to actually getting pregnant.

I'm sorry people are being turds. I'm actually looking forward to the day when I can unleash my inner rage on someone - hell - ANYONE who fucks with me this pregnancy. Mwah ha ha ha ha!


I totally sympathize with people trying to be nice about your belly. I was quite sure I would easily kill some well meaning jerk before my 3rd arrived. I was humongous, and I didn't need people to point this out to me. I mean seriously, did they think I hadn't noticed! The very worst was a crossing guard at the school. Every single day, Haven't you gone yet. Well no dork, would I be standing here if I had? Seemed harmless enough to a non pregnant not already 2 weeks overdue woman. I went into avoidance and cleared it with the principal as to why I was using a door that would get my child into the school without having to pass the jerk crossing guard.

However well meaning people are jerks to pregnant women.

I'm quite sure TBA is a lovely bump!


Okay, I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read the "decrepit duck" thing! People are idiots. How hard is it to just say "Oh, congratulations! You look lovely"? Maybe ask whether it's a boy or a girl, but that's it!


About a month before my first was due my husband and I went to a local theater to see a show. As we got to our seats, a woman sitting behind me burst out, quite loudly, "Man, I hope your water doesn't break while you're here". Bitch.
Hang in there.
Oh, and I'd be happy to share that bottle of wine with you.
Sorry about the Buckeyes.

Susan B

Just start denying everything.

Next time someone says something stupid like "Oh wow, are you having twins?" give them a stare from hell and bark loudly "I'm not pregnant! What are you implying?????
and see what they do.

Or else just put on your best totally flummoxed face and say something along the lines of "Huh? Babies??? What on earth are you talking about? Who's pregnant??????" while looking around wildly behind you on either side.

That should at least give you something different to listen to for a bit.


Darling Lola, I have managed to erase the email with your address. I suck. So sorry. I have your yarn all picked out and just await another email from you. I hope that will perk you right up. You also know they sell wine in tiny bottles, right? Or maybe you should get a nice dinner out and order a glass. You deserve it!


Buy yourself one of those overpriced half bottles of wine! Hurray!

And *I* think your belly is big and beautiful. I'd totally smile at you because I'm jealous as all get out. I wanna be knocked up (by David Tennant/Ewan McGregor).

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