Taps

I could use a nice glass of red wine.  Not the standard size glass, but the Mom-size glass.  For years our mother thought that 2 maybe 2.5 glasses of wine were in a bottle.  When I told her it was more like 4, she laughed.  But I want/need a glass of Merlot.  I'm not opposed to the idea of just one, but why buy a bottle when the rest would go bad?  SK is not a wine drinker, so I have no one to share with.

The past 2 weeks have been brutal on me.  This is a very busy time of year for my job.  Everyone wants to see you before the holiday rush, & my company also holds its annual sales meeting at the same time.  Brilliant.  One & half states is difficult to handle every year, but tack on another state, & watch me sweat.  Driving long distances has always been exhausting, but driving with a huge low hanging belly gives new meaning to exhaustion.  During the drive, TBA & I have been having wonderful poking battles.  He'll poke & stay put.  I'll poke to put him back in place. 

To make things even more wonderful are people's comments.  Ava told you about the cunty woman in the rental lot, but it isn't just a Once-a-Week comment that sends me into rage.  One man, after asking my due date, explained that my baby was definitely ready to come out.  Then he reminded me that it was TBA's lungs that were keeping him in my womb.  Uh-huh.  The next day, a Barista shared her own labor & delivery of her twins & then asked if I were having just one baby.  "Not two, " she asked as she passed my latte.  Nope.  Finally a woman told me that carrying around a big purse wasn't helping the strain on my back from my big belly.  Thank you.  I know that these people are trying to relate & be nice, but how about just a smile.  Hell, touch my belly. 

I have had 2 separate occasions when people have been very kind.  I've had to buy appropriate work clothing for my meeting.  On top of that horrible task, I got a cold & pink eye.  You can only imagine how glowing & gorgeous I am.  The 2 women that commented on my belly calling it cute & beautiful have no clue how they helped my day.  Maybe they could sense that my waddling ass needed it.  I didn't waddle with Gus, but TBA has turned me into a decrepit duck.  SK is always about 3 feet in front of me.  This is a complete role reversal for us, so he never realizes I'm back there until I snap.

Has there been knitting?  Sure, but nothing spectacular.  I've actually had to start a project so I could take something with me on the plane.  My other projects could fall prey to the TSA's trash can.  I'm not taking any chances with the Honeybee Stole or TBA's blanket.  I could stand to toss the knee socks, which I why I'm taking those with me.  Since I really was hoping to make Gus a sweater for the holidays.  I decided to start a EZ Hybrid for my airplane knitting.  This is my first time using Cotton-Ease.  For now, I'm loving the squish-ness & color.

Knitting wise I'm grateful for this trip.  If I were at home, I'd get sucked into a new project.  Oblique.  And once again it's a project that calls for my 2 mortal enemies, Heavy Worsted & Gauge Swatch in Pattern.  Oh how I want to vanish you both from my vocab.  If I were home, I'd be buying & swatching a shit-ton of yarn.  And for this reason, I think I'm going to stop reading January One.  That's right, I said.  Sure, I've stopped reading other blogs for better reasons.  Sometimes they get real preachy on techniques.  Only a couple blogs do it well & without a condescending tone.  Others have made me feel like I'll never measure up with my knitting or family life.  Others just start to annoying the shit out of me.  But I've had it with Cara.  She knits & blogs with passion.  We've all seen it happen.  Remember Jaywalkers, Miter madness, anything with Blue Moon?!  When she linked to the Knitty surprise, I knew my heart would be tormented.  Do I pick up the needles when I vowed not to make a sweater while pregnant?  Or set them down, but weep when I see beautiful Obliques popping up all of the place. So please Cara, stop pointing out great projects!  I just know that you'll crank out a gorgeous sweater & you'll make me feel like I can do the same.  And then there I am with an enormous belly covered in a sweater's sleeve that I won't be able to wear until next fall.  <sniff>  I'm thrilled that I'm getting on a plane & will be far away from the blogs.  Maybe when I come back, she'll have it finished & I'll live vicariously through her posts.  Who am I kidding?  I can't stop reading January One.  I can't quit you.

I'm done with my long winded post.  I'll waddle towards the couch.  Mourn my Buckeye's loss.  Dream of a nice Merlot.  And play Morse code games with TBA.  Until next week, which I'm already absolutely giddy about.
-L

Comments

[Cara]

Aw, man, cut me some slack! At least I stopped writing about puking with passion!

And besides, if I actually DO knit this sweater in the next couple of months so that I can wear it sitting on the couch through the long pregnant winter, it will be a miracle almost in proportion to actually getting pregnant.

I'm sorry people are being turds. I'm actually looking forward to the day when I can unleash my inner rage on someone - hell - ANYONE who fucks with me this pregnancy. Mwah ha ha ha ha!

[Tricia]

I totally sympathize with people trying to be nice about your belly. I was quite sure I would easily kill some well meaning jerk before my 3rd arrived. I was humongous, and I didn't need people to point this out to me. I mean seriously, did they think I hadn't noticed! The very worst was a crossing guard at the school. Every single day, Haven't you gone yet. Well no dork, would I be standing here if I had? Seemed harmless enough to a non pregnant not already 2 weeks overdue woman. I went into avoidance and cleared it with the principal as to why I was using a door that would get my child into the school without having to pass the jerk crossing guard.

However well meaning people are jerks to pregnant women.

I'm quite sure TBA is a lovely bump!

[Sarah]

Okay, I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read the "decrepit duck" thing! People are idiots. How hard is it to just say "Oh, congratulations! You look lovely"? Maybe ask whether it's a boy or a girl, but that's it!

[Kirsten]

About a month before my first was due my husband and I went to a local theater to see a show. As we got to our seats, a woman sitting behind me burst out, quite loudly, "Man, I hope your water doesn't break while you're here". Bitch.
Hang in there.
Oh, and I'd be happy to share that bottle of wine with you.
Sorry about the Buckeyes.

[Susan B]

Just start denying everything.

Next time someone says something stupid like "Oh wow, are you having twins?" give them a stare from hell and bark loudly "I'm not pregnant! What are you implying?????
and see what they do.

Or else just put on your best totally flummoxed face and say something along the lines of "Huh? Babies??? What on earth are you talking about? Who's pregnant??????" while looking around wildly behind you on either side.

That should at least give you something different to listen to for a bit.

[JulieFrick]

Darling Lola, I have managed to erase the email with your address. I suck. So sorry. I have your yarn all picked out and just await another email from you. I hope that will perk you right up. You also know they sell wine in tiny bottles, right? Or maybe you should get a nice dinner out and order a glass. You deserve it!

[Shannon]

Buy yourself one of those overpriced half bottles of wine! Hurray!

And *I* think your belly is big and beautiful. I'd totally smile at you because I'm jealous as all get out. I wanna be knocked up (by David Tennant/Ewan McGregor).