If you were ever to visit Chez Lola in the evening time, this is the first thing you'd see. It's how I'm spending most of my nights. Covered under 2 blankets & working very hard on the top one. I'm sort of neurotic about it. Since we're having another boy, we don't have to shop & I believe he needs something all of his own. Sure he's gotten a couple new things, but just a couple. We're still looking for a nice little "Welcome Home" gown. How I wish they made gowns in sizes larger than "Newborn". Gus wore a gown for a long time. Since he was well out of the newborn size at the time of delivery you can guess how snug he felt. They're just so much easier than trying to shove little legs into slots.
I was on the phone with Ava yesterday & I was trying to explain my pregnancy fears. With Gus, I was worried about how many t-shirts we had (plenty), would someone show me how to change a diaper (never changed one until we got home), would the nurses be offended when I called SK a 'muther fucker' (never did...still surprised), etc. Obviously, I don't have those fears this time around. Now I have completely irrational ones. I know that I'm insane, but I take comfort in that fact. But here they are:
I fear that I'll be one of those women that have had the baby cut out of their womb by some stranger: When some creepy guy asked how far along I was, I lied. He was practically standing on top of me when he asked. He was a security guard with a gun, so I felt justified.
Whenever I've got a particularly stubborn poop, I have a fear that I'll push myself into labor: No one. NO ONE tells you that the act of pushing out a baby, is the same act of pushing out a large shit. Make no mistake, the miracle of life starts off filthy. Sorry if that offended anyone, but it's true.
An elbow to the belly is going to create a nice dent in TBA's head: If Gus props himself up while we're reading a book or if an over-zealous shopper doesn't see me, I feel the kid get bumped. Great there's a great reason for him to blame me for his wonky look.
See, I told you, irrational. I have some very real fears, but I don't feel like talking about them yet.
I'll leave you with a nice preview of my finished Advent Calendar. SK was very concerned that I was going to photograph & blog about the project prior to the rest of the Christmas decorations being set-up. Once that's done, I'll take plenty of pictures & leave details.
-Lola
P.s. If anyone with Photo skills can tell me why my pictures are turning out dark, I would love an answer. Even on Auto & with a Flash, they come out dark. Photoshop has been my friend.
Up your ISO for the darkness. Also, auto sucks. Go to Shutter priority or F Stop priority.
I am totally FREAKED that someone's going to cut my baby out. FREAKED. And yeah, it's totally an irrational fear, but I swear to god they talk about it happening on the news all the time!
Besides, it's much easier to be irrationally afraid than to worry about the actual real terrifying things that could go wrong.
And dude, I totally knew about the pooping.
Posted by: Cara | November 30, 2007 at 05:05 PM
Oh and what's the deal with the blanket? Are you knitting squares, or knitting it all in one shot? Intarsia? What's up? I NEED TO KNOW!
Posted by: Cara | November 30, 2007 at 05:06 PM
I love that blanket! While pregnant, and now as a mom, I've come to acquire all sorts of new irrational fears. It's really fun when I catch myself worrying about things like "what if he decides that skydiving sounds like a fun hobby and then he goes skydiving and his parachute malfunctions?" I mean, seriously, I really ought to hold off on worrying about that at least until he learns to walk and talk, right?
Posted by: Sarah | November 30, 2007 at 09:48 PM
My irrational fears centered on pushing during delivery. I was convinced that I would stop breathing. Irrational, but it was real for me.
But then I found comfort in strange ways too. When I was up in the night nursing and everyone else in my house was asleep, I used to tell myself that somewhere in the world maybe even in this town some other mother was losing sleep while she nursed her baby.
Nice blanket and I'm itching to hear what your advent calendar is. It looks intriguing. My advent calendar involved rushing out to the local chocolate store and buying 3 calendars and sneaking in to their rooms once all were asleep, so that they would find the calendar when they woke up.
Cheers,Tricia
Posted by: Tricia | December 01, 2007 at 10:13 AM
The fear of pooping out your baby isn't that irrational. My boyfriend's younger sister was almost pushed into the toilet. Her mom thought she was having a particular difficult poop when really she was having labor pains. She didn't realize she was in labor until about 3 hours later when her water finally broke.
So yeah...Not so irrational...
Posted by: Leigh | December 03, 2007 at 09:38 PM
Again, late w/ the comments, but the advent calendar is SO CUTE. And now I can't remember if I dreamed it or saw it (I've had weird jet lag this week and can't remember what's real and isn't), but it involved a smallish Xmas tree COVERED in teeny socks. So covered it looked like those styrofoam forms that we covered in wrapped candy back in girl scouts only they weren't as hideous as this wreath - http://www.livingonadime.com/blog/uploaded_images/Candy-Christmas-Wreath-787969.jpg
Posted by: Shannon | December 07, 2007 at 07:36 PM