Two Black Sheep

Another Sad Love Song

Let me set the mood for a conversation that took place on Monday.  It's noon & SK stayed home from work.  I really wanted some peanut sauce drenched food, so we're sitting at our favorite restaurant.  Somehow knitting is brought up.  Again.  We have a version of this conversation once every 4 months.
SK: You ever think that you knit too much?
Lola:  No.  I didn't knit all weekend.
SK: That's because my Mom was here.
L: See?!
SK:  Sometimes I wish when we watch TV, we'd watch TV.  No knitting.  You really don't pay attention.
L:  But it relaxes me.
SK: But I want you without the needles.  Without the needles.
L: <I stare at my yummy peanut sauce>  But it makes me happy & I've been really uncomfortable lately.  Being pregnant can hurt, Honey.  I can't feel the right side of my Vag at the end of the night. 
SK:  I want you without the needles.
<Scene>

I'm not trying to convince anyone that I don't knit a huge amount at night, but Gus is in bed, the kitchen's been cleaned, & I need a release because there's no wine these days.  SK argues that I really am not fully there when I knit.  I think this is silly.  Sure, there are plenty of times when lace gets tricky or I've got to back-track to find a mistake.  For the most part, garter isn't challenging & that's what I've been working on in the evenings.  Perhaps he should think that maybe I don't care for the latest Heroes plot-lines.  Sure I enjoy Reaper, but would I watch it if SK wasn't here?  The flaw in his argument lies in his hobbies.  When he doesn't want to watch my TV, his hobbies pull him to a book or game in another room.  So really he's mad that I'm not watching his TV shows.  The real test would be: Can SK watch America's Next Top Model or Rock of Love reruns?  Until that day, I'll just keep knitting away.  Maybe I'll stop for one show.  One fucking show, so he'd better make it a good one.

I think that my knitting mojo is coming back.  Not enough to pick up a new project, but enough to get inspired.  I've been tinkering on some sloggers, but I have been getting excited about other's knits.  It's pretty chilly in Ohio these days.  And one knitting technique makes me think of fall/winter.  One technique makes me feel accomplished as a knitter.  One technique makes me feel like I've been sitting in front of a fire with a mug of spiked cider all day long.  That one technique: Cables.  My first cables were for Gus' Trellis.  I've bought the yarn for TBA's very own Trellis, but I'm not ready to start that project. 

My last cabling adventure was right before I popped Gus out.  I love Demi & can't wait to wear it again next fall.  It's a little short, but it doesn't matter with all that fiber twisted all over the sweater.  It also doesn't help that I've been seeing cables everywhere.  Who hasn't seen this, this, this or this?  I want cables & the more the better.  Not one little itty-bitty cable in the front.  I want them scattered all over the place!  Cables, throw up all over me!  Please!

In this post, I've talked about puking cables & a numb vagina.  Why not have a contest?!  Please send me a link to your favorite cable project or cabling technique.  Raverly links may apply.  I'm not saying that I'll start a cable project tomorrow, but I need something to satisfy my "Cable w/o a Needle" interest.  Send a link by Friday & I'll unload some of my stash.

And yes, Happy Halloween folks!

-Lola

SexyBack

Finally cast on for a successful (is it too early to say that?) pair of socks from Cat's book. Sadly, there are no pretty pictures, but the Veil of Leaves socks look particularly lovely if not a bit sexy in STR's  Mustang Sally.

I had to type out a declaration of sorts, sign it, and have it witnessed by the girls vowing to purchase no more of the following: yarn, knitting related books, rubber stamps, or handbags. Lola wondered if I posted it, and when I said, no just typed it up, she declared it sad, sad, sad. The first step to solving your problem is admitting to it. Look for a post on the new Destash soonish.

Ava

PS - In response to my perusal on Wikipedia about Edward the Second for a book project, Betty expressed surprise that I wasn't reading up on Eleanor of Aquitaine. "I swear, Mom, if you were a time-traveling lesbian, you would so be all over Eleanor of Aquitaine." Ah, the imaginations of my children. So, any imaginary crushes you feel like sharing?

Fairytale

I wish I had some big project to tease you all with, but I just don't.  I have a couple things just hanging out on the needles. Honeybee Stole is 1/2 done & I have yet to pick it up to start the other side.  I've been toying with TBA's blanket.  Sneaking a couple rows during Sesame Street episodes or during overnight hotel stays.  I'm afraid that 2 things are happening here.  First, I've hit a knitting road block.  Second, I hate the idea of swatching.  Just add my name to the bottom of Sarah's letter & I'll call it a day.  Gus needs a winter hat & I can't see buying one when I have enough yarn to make him & his grandchildren hats.  I'd love to start Bridie, but the thought of swatching for either is enough to firmly plant my pregnant ass in front of the tv without a needle even in the same room.  And before someone gently pokes the devil on my shoulder that's whispering, "Who needs to swatch for a toddler hat?"  I'm envisioning another Zeebee.  You've got to swatch for that one, sorry Mr. Devil.  So I'll just keep plugging away on TBA's blanket & maybe my mojo will reappear soon.  After all, it is the perfect knitting weather.

I did finish a pair of socks for Gus.  That's 2 pairs for Socktoberfest, people!  Ava, pop open a Pumpkin Ale & pretend you're me.  Just say "Fuck" alot & make inappropriate comments to your daughters.  I used another toe-up construction from the Bordhi book.  They fit perfectly & he loves them.  Gus is a great kid to knit socks for because he has a phobia of walking around without shoes.  If you try to take his shoes off, it's like you're asking him to cut off an arm.  I've got about a ball & half left of this yarn, so I'm planning a pair of booties for TBA & maybe a larger pair of socks.  I was going to make another Zeebee for TBA.  I've even swatched it.  But the thought of knitting a hat on US 1, is enough to make me crawl into bed for a couple days.

We had a small pumpkin carving party last night.  Gus did not want anything to do with the gutty mess of the pumpkins.  He went to bed very late & begged SK to leave his door open just so he could hear everyone. 

On a pregnancy note, I've decided that I'm lying to strangers when they ask about my due date.  I'll just tell them soon.  One crazy woman told me after I said 3 more months that the baby was dropping & he'd be here soon. Another woman told me that I should be happy about having a very large baby.  Yes, I'm thrilled that I might be pushing out a 9+ lbs. child from my crotch.  What woman doesn't dream of the day that she'll rip from top to bottom?  Gus was over 9 pounds & if this kid isn't, I'm going to be very pissed off.   I'll go back to every person that has repeatedly told me, "You'll have a big baby." & tell them how full of shit they are.  I've got expectations now, friends.

Have a great weekend.  Hopefully yours will be full of good solid knitting.

In a Big Country

So often, when I choose a title for a post, I simply open up iTunes and hit play. After one or two songs, I pick a title and run with it. Usually the ones that I reject are for two reasons - I am embarrassed to say I like that song or I can't figure out why I would have that song. Today's choice was a home run from the word go. Word of warning, the actual song came up by Dashboard Confessionals, not Big Country.

Over the weekend, while it seemed as if everyone and the neighbors were at Rhinebeck, I took a hike with my students and their families. While we only had a turn out of five kids, it was so refreshing to see your students in another setting. They were amazing to be with and you learn so much. For example, one young lady wants to be a photographer and took her time getting the perfect shots. She nailed it almost every time. Another student, a very shy young man, was there with his father and hardly said a word - but he smiled, which is so rare in my classroom. And then there was my favorite - the dog referred by his owner (my student) as Cujo. Can I just tell you that this bichon frise was the cutest thing possible? And he made the five mile hike (up hills, both ways, no lie) like the other pup (a gorgeous black lab) with enthusiasm and good spirits.

Rhinebeck will wait for next year. Lola is planning on coming out, and since she won't be "great with child," we'll get a cabin and party . . . or maybe just drink. Tricia came back with a present for me since she said I sounded so sad about the whole thing. Now Tricia pays attention when I knit and noticed that I knit mainly warm colors like reds and pinks, so she is feeding the addition with the yummiest orange/pink/green (yes, there is lime green in there) alpaca lace weight yarn. Little did she know that I am an alpaca whore. Thanks, Tricia!

If you look closely, oh sister dear, you will note that the two buttons say "Black" with a picture of a sheep. You can thank Susan for the buttons. They came on a swatch of my socks (Betty thought Susan knit a button holder - I did bonk her for you, S) with a simple note saying, "Share with your sister." I'll mail you yours sometime soon . . . hold your breath, I dare you.

Now, the piece d'resistance is the Clara Parkes book. Why, I ask you, was my "Holy Grail" the Cat Bordhi book? Don't get me wrong . . . love the sock book. But a knitting text book? Clara, you're talking my kind of geek speak! I wanted to sit down and get out a highlighter when I realized it was actually set up like a text book. "Honey, did you know . . . " was the only thing out of my mouth on Saturday night. I am sure that the Flyer was sick of knitting trivia after listening to me prattle on. Go get this book, folks! The patterns are cute (not all of them my taste) and the information is indispensable. Instead of sugar plums, I drift off to dreams of Nora Gaughan's orange sweater.

Ava

One Minute Man

Like the title of the post suggests, this is going to be quick . . . wham, bam, thank you, ma'am! First of all, thank you so much for the birthday wishes. It truly was a wonderful birthday because I a) took Lola's advice and didn't grade a thing and b) had the following for my dinner: cheese, Chinese food, chocolate cake, and chardonnay . . . this post is brought to you by the letters C and H! Turning 38  felt  liberating, or as my father points out, so close to forty.

There are no pretty pictures for this post, just words. The Flyer and I are taking a hike with some of my team mates and students from school so anticipate wonderful fall foliage from the Poconos. In the meantime, I am taking a quick break from teacher revisions to say, "Howdy" to all you other less fortunates who didn't make it to Rhinebeck this year either. PSATs and the aforementioned hike precluded it. Next year, Lola and I are so making that trek.

I added a little link to a post we had in June as we fear we may soon be outed in the blogosphere. Last night, during a wonderful little iChat with Gus, Lola, and Mom, our mother asks which one of us had the Shaun Cassidy underpants. You see, our mother was nothing if not thrifty. We had old t-shirts, she knew how to make underpants . . . hence Shaun Cassidy's face plastered all over my 10-year-old naughty bits. Anyway, Lola brought up that we all did since again, our mother is nothing if not thrifty and underpants were passed down from child to child. I responded, while Gus was using a ruler as a light saber on the other end of the iChat, that the pants were mine first. Why? Here's where we go squiffy. "Well, I was reading on Mike's blog that the princess got her first Tiger Beat and I was going to comment that you used to love reading it whenever Shaun Cassidy was in it, but some old woman beat me to it." Friends, you can't grab a pen and scribble to your husband, "We are fucked . . . that comment was from me," fast enough. Suffice it to say, she didn't read the post two before it when Mike directly linked to our blog (and Mike, trust me, I am so not putting the blame for any of this on you . . . she'll find out eventually). Suffice it to say, we're keeping the link until she does find out . . . and she will . . . and it won't take a part-time DEA agent (long story for later).

Ariann progresses at a snail's pace. I'd put up pictures of that, but seriously, do you want to look at seven inches of red Cascade 220 as opposed to four inches? Oooh . . . excitement! I have to get cracking on another sock since I ripped the pair I started from Cat's book. Sarah did say that they were running rather large, and I admitted defeat and pulled back. 

Ava

PS - during last night's conversation with Gus, he was gushing over his new Green Lantern socks that Lola knit him. I told him to hide them from the Flyer . . . since GL is the coolest super-hero.

The Killing Moon

Ava,
I'm guessing that you must be slammed at work.  No posts & no phone calls.  I understand.  Really I do.  So, I'll just keep updating you the ole fashion way; blogging.

I think that I beginning to nest.  I don't remember nesting with Gus.  It was more like, "Where in the hell are we going to put all this new stuff & a freakin' baby?  Time to clean out a closet."  Maybe with TBA this isn't nesting.  Maybe it's more like, "I can't bring a newborn into a house full of crap, filth, & dust bunnies."  So I've been tackling each room's tiny corners.  Goodwill is going to be very happy with Ms. Lola.  Also, this little vixen doesn't help matters.

If you love Amy Butler as much as Ava & I do, this book it for you.  It's full of fabric swatches, cozy home shots & cute clothing options.  I looked at SK & begged for the house in the book.  And I'm pretty sure that's when the nesting kicked in.  To get that house, we've got to start with a blank canvas.  Here's what I've learned 3 important facts by watching our crap pile up:

• If your shoe box has a nice solid layer of dust, you probably haven't worn them in a very long time.
• I must have gone through a Rachael Ray phase.  I just can't remember when.
• I don't need to buy yarn for the next 3 years.

And in the spirit of cleaning out closet, I visited a couple of local quilting shops for some Amy Butler material for a pair of wide-legged pj pants.  Funny how I came home with this pattern & some decorator weight material.  Looks like I'll try one more place before I head to Mom's tomorrow.  Why make your own pants, when Mommy does a nicer & faster job?

When I returned home, I found the yarn waiting in my mailbox.  So much for cleaning out closets.  There's always something I want to add, dammit!  LoomyMama needed some Cider Moon for a shawl that she's working on & I just happened to have the color in my stash.  I was willing to part with it, so we worked out a trade.  I got Wollmeise Sockenwolle (Tiefer See) in the deal.  It's a beautiful blend of greens & blues.  I think that it will make a lovely pair of Thelonious socks.  Now if I could tear myself away from Cat Bordhi's powerful grip.

Have a great weekend.  I'll be finishing a pair of toddler socks out of this yarn.  I've got to be real honest, it might become like drug to me.  I'm still amazed every time I pick up the little sucker.  "Really, $4.29?  But you're so soft Green Lantern sock," I say quietly to the sock.  I'm going to order some Essential very soon because it has the same fiber content.  And for $3.29, that's a shit-ton of cheap & soft baby hats, booties & adult socks.

-Lola

 

p.s. Speaking of addiction...  I love Knittingfriends.com!  I check it twice a day if I'm in the office (FYE, next week I won't be).  It's like peeking at someone else's Bloglines' subscription.  Sure, some of the blogs are on my roll, but some aren't.   Someone is doing all my blog searching work for me.  Thank you Unknown Blog Searcher.

 

You Took my Heart

Dear Simple Socks,
I know that a lot people recommend  you never reveal an affair, but I owe you.  We've been through a lot the last 3 years.  You were my first foray into "no pattern" knitting.  I remember when we met, I devoured you.  Sure, we had our bumps & fights (Remember the my first couple attempts at the backwards purl YO?).  But it's been a good & fruitful relationship.  I've got at least 8 good socks out of you.  So as cliche as it sounds, here goes.  It's not you, it's me.  You've helped me mature at as sock knitter.  I'll go as far as saying as you turned me into a sock knitter.  And I think it's time that I spread my needles and sow some yarn with other designers. 

If you don't want to know the details, just stop reading, but I feel that I owe you the same respect as you've give me.  Who is she?  Well, you know her.  Hell, we mocked her.  "Who needs 2 needles when you've got one long on?" we chuckled one morning.  But then she walked in with her fancy cover, book full of variegated socks, & all that hype.  I stalked her & finally one day, she came home.  I grabbed some yarn for gifting purposes.  Gifting was better than making socks for myself.  I could give them away because I was sure that I wouldn't love them as much as I love your finished product.  Starting her socks was tricky.  I can do you in my sleep.  To begin, I had to learn a new cast-on.  But after those first couple rounds of Judy's Magic Cast-on, I was lost in bliss.  How great is that cast-on?  No loose stitches to tighten and the perfect starting point for a swatch in the round.  So I knit and I knit.  I didn't trust the temptress.  With you, I always do a fantastic short row heel at 2 inches before I reach the heel.  Not with her, she wanted me to do a heel flap!  I questioned, but I followed blindly.  I was for sure she'd go on for to long & I'd have excess material to shove into a shoe.  After we finished, I pulled it on.  Wow!  Hot & perfect.  The kind of hotness that makes you want a cigarette & an extra shot of Jack.  The sock was so satisfying, that I started the second one that day.

So Simple, I love you.  And don't worry, I'll call you again.  If you see me at 11 p.m., please let me in.  I don't need your pages, like I need hers.  You're familiar, easy & always fit well.

Your faithful devotee friend,
Lola

Other Sister's Ridgeline Sock
Needles: Addi's 0 Magic Loop
Yarn: BMFA Lucy
Mod: I used my feet as the model.

These are my first jump into Socktoberfest.  I was using the month to spice up my sock routine.  I really thought that New Pathways for Sock Knitters was just going to be a place for me to find patterns, not a book full of generic fill-ins.  I can't get enough of the cast-on & increase methods.  I love that I've eliminated the gusset holes that I've been trying to hide for years.  I just can't get enough.  I've started Gus a pair Upstream socks yesterday.  My only complaint is how the finished sock looks.  Maybe it's because I've only done toe-up socks from the book, but my PGR toe-up socks always look commercial.  I'm sure it's just how they look since Other Sister's socks fit very well, and I haven't tried Gus' yet.

Thank you so much for all of the Tilted love.  That will really push a gal to finish up some products.

This is That New Song

For the love of all Knit Gods, I've got a finished object!  The weather has been perfect for me to give this gal a spin.  So let's talk about the Tilted Duster from Interweave's Fall 2007.  I used the recommended yarn, Berroco Peruvia.  I'm going to guess that I won't use this yarn again unless I'm felting with it.  It's really hairy which also translates to "sheds easily".  I only made one modification.  I decided to skip the buttons & I've opted for a shawl pin to keep top closed.  I like how it fits this way.  It has more of a causal feel as opposed to a 80's construction with the buttons.

I made this cardigan because I felt that it would work perfectly with the ever growing baby bump!  When I blocked it, I pulled the fronts more than recommended.  But all the pulling in the world will not cover this bump.  The other fantastic thing about this sweater is the fact that I look less pregnant in the sweater.  Now, I really don't mind my pregnant belly.  It's a nice shelf for a drink or a knit chart.  But sometimes it's nice to minimize it.  When someone asks when I'm due & I tell them, I get 2 responses.  Some will interrupt before I can get out the date, they always guess between 33-36 weeks.  When I correct them, I deal with their shocked expressions.  If I can get out the date, then I get "Woooo!  You've got a big baby in there."  Thanks.  Still Ava's response might be my favorite.  She was very nice to tell me that I'm larger than her friend that is due around the same time & is pregnant with triplets.  Yep.  Triplets.  Before anyone says, "You're suppose to get big with pregnancy."  I understand this & don't fret about this inescapable fact.  All of my weight gain is in the belly.  I'm just having a difficult time imagining how much larger my belly can stretch.  A couple months after TBA's birth, I'm going to have to roll up the extra belly skin & tuck it into my waistband.  Gross.

Later this week, I'll post another FO.  My Socktober socks flew off the needles while we were watching Knocked Up.  I'm very proud that I didn't see the crowning scenes.  Thank you Tubular Bind-Off.  But now I've got a decision to make, What to start next?  Do I start Bridie?  How about a 2007 EZ sweater for Gus?  Maybe just finish off TBA's blanket?  Gotta get moving on something.

-Lola

Happy Birthday

This is how Gus would have wished you a Happy Birthday if you were here!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday song

Tomorrow is my fabulous big sister's birthday.  Her birthday post to me was filled with great pictures from the past & written so well I cried.  Since she's the family scrapbooker, the only pictures I have of Ava are the ones she made me swear to never post.  I'll sprinkle in some Flickr favorites of some of her favorites at the end for those of you who like a picture post.  And I've driven over 700 miles in 2 days, so just go with my ramblings.

I'm convinced that a mother starts out with a set amount of Advice Goo.  The first born is given a good dollop.  The second gets a little less.  And so on, and so on.  This whacked-out theory of mine is why the eldest always give the best advice.  Women tend to give better advice than men which is precisely why older sisters give the greatest advice in the world. Make sense, right?

Ava was the first to tell me, "Less is more" when discussing make-up.  She helped me by saying, "Take the job.  Hardly anyone uses their actual degree."  I've got a fabulous vacuum & a shower full of great smelling products all because she cared to call & give her opinion.  However, I'm pretty sure that she's unaware that she delivered the best piece of knowledge I've ever gotten.  A day rarely goes by without me silently thanking her for this information.  Let me tell you how I stumbled upon this info.

I was pretty sure that I never wanted to have children, but something changed about a year before we got pregnant with Gus.  While I loved being pregnant, I didn't have a huge amount of Motherly feelings towards the child I was carrying.  I didn't despise him, but I didn't get all warm & fuzzy about him either. It was more like a job, keep him safe.  People kept saying that everything would change on the day I had him.  So I waited for that change.

After the Doctor pulled him out & placed him on on chest, I didn't have that Moment.  You know the Moment I'm talking about.  Lights go dim, everything stops, the baby looks up at me, angels sing & my heart breaks into a million pieces never to be found again.  You've read about that Moment.  Seen it in the movies.  Hell, maybe you had yours.  But I didn't.  I just kept thinking, "I begged them to wash him off first.  Ah shit, I'm not kangaroo-ing.  See, I've already fucked this up."  In the following week, almost every mother asked me something that sounded like this, "Isn't it amazing how much you can love someone you've never met?"  I always said yes because that's what they wanted to hear & it was easier to say.  Once again, I didn't hate my son.  I just felt like I was playing pretend & any day now the real mother would come to take her son.

During that time Brooke Shields was on her PPD book tour.  Please believe me when I say that I didn't suffer from PPD or even had the Baby Blues.  Honest.  I just wasn't feeling like every commercial, magazine picture & women  told me I would feel in my new role.  One day I'm watching Oprah ask Brooke about her delivery, and she said that she didn't have her Moment.  Oprah looked shocked & Brooke said that she felt a lot of women didn't have a Moment or rather they created one later.  "OK I'm with ya Brooke," I thought.  Then she started to explain how she didn't bond with her daughter while she was nursing.  She'd be on the phone, doing crosswords, or watching tv.  "Oh shit."  I said as I was nursing, knitting lace, watching tv, & probably just hung up the phone with Ava.  By the time that she started talking about wanting to run her car off the bridge, I thought that maybe I should call someone before I get to that point.  Once again, I knew that I didn't have PPD, but I thought maybe my lack of motherly feelings would put me behind the driver's seat.  I never claimed that was reasonable after Gus' birth.  I called Ava & told her everything.  She explained that a lot of women had my same feelings & nothing was wrong with me.  She said that most women don't talk about those feelings; they aren't as pretty.  And then she said it.  The couple sentences that changed everything, "You grow to love your child.  And then one day you can't imagine feeling anything other than intense love for them."    If anyone else would have uttered these words, I would've discredited them immediately.  But it was Ava & she had never been wrong in the past.  When I hung up, I exhaled & knew we'd be ok.

There's a part of me that's afraid people will say, "Maybe she had a little bit of PPD or the Blues."  I wasn't cold towards him.  And I really did love him & was full of emotions on his birth day, but it wasn't the Mama Bear type feelings I thought I'd have.  I was just trying to get by with the nursing schedule, all-day crying jags, the new responsibilities that are instantly thrown at you.  There's never enough time to prepare.  I've talked about this with other women & have found that I'm not as crazy as I had once thought.  You feel silly saying how you really felt those first couple weeks.  Sure there are plenty of women who have their Moment the minute the baby is spotted on an ultrasound, but I wasn't one of them.  When the placenta came out, Motherhood emotions didn't replace it.  There's nothing that makes me cringe more than when a mother tells a pregnant woman how much she'll crumble at the first sight of her own child.  If you don't crumble completely, you feel awful, helpless, alone, & slightly insane.  Ava helped me realize I wasn't any of those, but normal.

I can't really tell you when I had my Moment.  Maybe it was after I hung up the phone & relaxed.  Or maybe it was the first time, I made Gus laugh.  Or the first time I felt pain when he was hurting.  But there have been times while he's telling me a story & I can hear Ava's voice saying I'd feel this love, & I just start sobbing.  So for making my life intensely easier on that day & everyone after, I forgive her for dunking & holding me under at the pool.  I forgive her for telling me that I was adopted & we weren't really sisters.  I forgive her for inching the car away when I'd try to get in at school.  I even forgive her for making me think that I really could speak fluent Chinese when I was 6. 

I love you & a huge happy birthday.  Celebrate the entire weekend doing only things you enjoy.  Knit all day.  Watch Jason Statham movies in slow-motion.  Eat an Egg McMuffin while drinking a beer (something I've still never done).  Master those sock patterns!  Rewind certain parts in Jason Statham movies.  Just enjoy the weekend.  And please don't grade a single paper.

-Lola

1. peanutbutter, 2. Arched people, 3. Bubble bars, 4. Achtung U2