Two Black Sheep

Put Your Records On

Here you go, Lola, baby. As asked . . . I give you the Amy Butler Creativity Bag. It's manufactured by K and Company and retails for $34.95 at A. C. Moore. Literally, I came around the corner and BAM! there she was.

The inside is loaded with room and has some real potential. There are tons of pockets, and the entire thing is padded - including the strap. Lovely bag all around!

While I am sharing, here is the Amy Coe Naomi Diaper Bag that I intended to use for my knitting. Lest some of you get ideas, I, Ava Blacksheep, am not pregnant. Repeat: no bun in the proverbial oven, not up the duff, no bee in my bonnet. Got it? I just know a good bag design when I see it . . . and I waited for close to three months for this to be shipped from Target.com. Why, that is almost like having a child!

Once In Lifetime

Dear Sock Pal -

I know you won't be reading this for a few months now, but I would like you to see how your sock came to being. First of all, I love knitting socks even if I do often mistype the word "socks" . . . one of those pesky little letters always comes first for some darn reason. That, chaussette pal, can get a girl into trouble. Back to the task at hand: your socks' creation.

You said in the little Q&A we all filled out for Allison that you enjoyed purples and greens. What is a girl to do? I could have done one sock in green and one in purple, but that would be so 6th grade. Luckily, the fabu ladies at Blue Moon have Undertoe in its shades of greens and purples. Truthfully, I had hoped for more deep purples (not often I want that) but the colorway is more of a green and lavender. When I emailed you, you said you didn't shy away from lace and cables and variegated but not all at the same time. Socke Kamerad, I went a bit askew here.

A while back, Lola submitted her top four patterns with new and improved names to go with them. Personally, I don't think that the folks at Vogue Knitting have enough of an imagination; otherwise, we would have fabulous knits every quarter rather than the stuff that's put out. The same goes with the names for the patterns. Honestly, "eyelet herringbone" is so demure, so let's-go-play-parcheesi. I want a pattern you might call when your parents are gone for the weekend and you know you won't get caught having a party. Hence, "eyelet herringbone" is getting a make-over and will hence forth be known as "Kandy Kane, or How I Put Myself Through College." Kind of reminds you of poles, don't you think, amigacho del calcetín?

Thanks for the speedy replies on my emails, by the way. I think that we will be fine . . . or at least, that's what my sister is telling me. I am finding that this pattern, while one that I must pay attention to (no quickies with a Johnny Knoxville movie, no way), is really a nice little lady. Who knew Kandy could be so sweet? My daughters both like the way that the colors are working with this and the Flyer just nods appreciatively when I ask him to take a gander. By the way, how is the hubbo's sweater coming along? I never mustered anything for the boy beyond a hat.

So, calzino pal, I leave you with one last picture. Your sock is nestled next to my lovely new hand bag (no comments about the color, oh sock-pal-who-has-me. Refer to the title of the post - wink, wink, nudge, nudge) which was too stinkin' cute to say no to as well as a new box of cards from the lovely Cara. I shall be using one very quickly as the Brother is graduating from OSU very shortly and I don't feel like scanning the aisles for an appropriate sentiment, which I don't think I will find. Instead, he gets a knitting card. Perhaps it will spurn some interest for him.

Farewell, sock pal (that one was in Portuguese . . . apparently it's the same), until I make more progress. I think I can find some little ones for your collection here whilst in London.

Ava

PS - I would bring your sock to the Brother's graduation, but he is the speaker, and we know what a fondess he has for women like Kandy. Cheers!

Peace the Fuck Out

Oh, Lola, I truly am sorry that your knitting adventures have taken a detour down Shitty Lane. It's not a pretty sight, Shitty Lane . . . it's littered with the remains of Salt Peanuts, misguided Fair Isles, and the left overs of numerous socks. Besides, Shitty Lane always (okay - almost always) is a quick little jaunt before you hit Mediocre Street or Knock My Head In Avenue.

You could have been faced with prom this weekend, Lola. While you had your son watering the grass with a spray bottle (which we found adorable), Betty got ready for all things prom like. She got her hair done; she got her nails done; she let her mother apply her make-up which she promptly wiped off watch as she skillfully applied her make-up; she was a babe and then some. For the Flyer and me, parents who are still new to this "here's my daughter, take good care of our baby" stuff, prom was relatively stress free. The girls' school district has prom the same weekend as Memorial Day and always buses the kids some place out of state. This meant no after parties, no weekend at the Shore, no staying out late. I think you will agree, Betty makes one hell of a cutie and her boyfriend cleans up nicely, too.

It wasn't all prom crap this weekend, oh no . . . there was grading and a wee little bit of knitting to go along with it. I am sure you would be dazzled by my artful parlance of the grading process, but I would hate to dispell your strong held beliefs about it. Instead, I give you a finished object. Yes, I actually finished something. So who cares if it was last week and I just got around to blocking it yesterday? Who cares if Veronica has already claimed it? Who cares if I forgot where I put the Koigu bands so I would remember which lot it was because Cathi asked weeks ago? Instead, I proudly display a finished Chevron.

This is one of those mindless dream knits. Is it any wonder there are a billion and one Chevrons floating around on the Internet? The pattern is easily memorizable (even if I forgot it for a second or two), it knits up fairly fast (although I wouldn't call it a Last Minute Knitted Gift), and the knitter (that would be me) can play around with the color combinations. I am calling this the Be In Before Dark Chevron as the colors remind me of the sun setting right before Mom would yell at us to be home. Veronica, who again really, really digs this scarf but not enought to make one for herself, was gracious enough to model for me. She likes it wrapped around her head and points out it would keep her warm on the long walk to school in the morning when the weather is wicked. Again, a school bus would also do the trick, but I digress.

That's it for me. We have a school field trip to an amusement park some two hours away. That, kids, means this little BlackSheep can knit for four hours with little interuption. For that, I cast on the Suzie Hug Me Tight. I added an extra eight inches as I wanted it a bit bigger. This could be a trip to Shitty Lane for me, Lola. Or it could be a ticket to Baby You Look Good Boulevard. I'm shooting for the last one.

Ava

PS - speaking of Shitty Lane, do any of you remember playing a game called "Witchy Witch?" Lola and I played it for hours when we were kids, but then again, our mother says we are special.

Downpour

Firetruck to the rescue! 
Fuck it, Mr. Fireman!  This one is a goner.

So add this to the chapter "Why I don't Feel Like Knitting Right Now."  I'll start by saying, it is a lovely pattern that I will pick up again.  I finished this sweater earlier in the afternoon.  I've been trying it on for the past couple days & I knew that it wasn't going to fit correctly.  The sleeves and body were a little short, but enough to be irritating.  Bust wise was a bit snug, but that's another story.  I finished it anyway.  I kept thinking, "Lola, you're an experienced knitter that can save this little lovely."  I flipped through a couple books to keep my confidence level high.  Grabbed some scissors and started the alterations.  I was planning on ripping a couple inches off the sleeves and then adding about 2 inches.  So during Cops, I starting this adventure.  By then end of the Bonus Cops (why not just run it for an hour?), I had given up.  I should have realized this was going to be a stubborn beast.  The yarn is a tweed cotton.  Which translates to splitty bobbles.  It doesn't rip very well from the wrong end.  If I reuse the yarn, it will still be rough going from the top, but I think it's possible.  This has happened once before.  I can't explain it, but a horrible knit doesn't piss me off as much as it should.  But if I don't learn from this mistake, take away all of my needles & raid my good stash.  When will I learn, I have long monkey arms!?  For right now, I'm sticking with socks and baby/kid knits.

SK has been trying to grow some grass before Brother's graduation party.  Our backyard is staked out like an Egyptian discovery.  He thought that Pup would respect these boundaries.  She didn't, & Gus has tripped over them a dozen times.  Gus decided to help his Daddy water the lawn with a spray bottle.  This kept him busy & he didn't mind as much when SK "rained on" him.
-Lola

Pop Goes the Weasel

As I said on the phone today, I have nothing to say about knitting.  I think that I've been going through a knitting slump.  Usually a dishrag will lure me back, but I don't feel like picking up a small project (I do need another Saturday Market Bag though).  Lately, I don't even check Bloglines.  I've got to get out of this slump & hit the wool!  I'm seaming the Ribby, perhaps when that's finished I'll get the high back.

I forgot to tell you on the phone, I've been getting zits in really odd places.  The other week, I had on on the inside of my nostril.  Last night, I found one in my armpit!  Gross.  They don't even pop that well & they hurt like hell.  So I'll leave you with that pretty picture.  Happy Memorial Day weekend!  We're going to make some beer can chicken and let Gus run outside without his diaper.
-Lola

Never Again

I wish there was something more that I could post, but it's still a little gloomy here at chez Lola.  I would like to make a statement right here & right now:

Please when I die, make them burn me up!  No open casket.  The only thing that should be open is the bar. 

There, it's been documented.  Ava, make this post known to SK if he's all crazed with grief.   I know that some may find even this small talk very morbid.  Our family has long thrown that nonsense out the window.  If you go to my parents' house, you'll find names taped to the back of a grandfather clock, cupboard, chairs & the kitchen table.  This small act is suppose to ease the tension once it's time to clean out the house.  Our display of affection is something that still makes SK uncomfortable.  Our family calls it being prepared.

No the road hasn't gotten to me so bad that I've got death on the brain.  I attended a Visitation of my best friend from grade school.  Even though I hadn't seen her in about 10 years, her death hit me harder than I imagined.  She & her brother have CF.  During our friendship, I learned a lot about how they had to deal with the disease.   When high school hit, she went private & I went public.  We lost touch, but I still remember her & her family often.  It was so painful to see her parents today because for a couple years, they were my other family.  My thoughts go out to them during this time.

Ok enough sad talk.  We just have had a chunk of sadness lately.  But I'm sure there's some good news on the horizon!  Oh point, the entire family is getting together very soon!  Sure, there will be some arguments & yelling, but family is a comin'.

-Lola

p.s. Here's a little shot of the Lizard getting ready for it's big seaming adventure.  Not the greatest look, but who wants to read a depressing post with no pictures?  Still unsure about how to tackle the back.  Anyone who tells you the Noro softens, is full of shit or has really tough skin.  How someone wears Noro is my Yarn Life's greatest mystery. 

Welcome to My Nightmare

Sadly, there is very little, if any, knitting content in this post, Lola. My only bit of knitting this week was working up a swatch for my sock pal's socks. I'm taking this seriously - I am swatching. Not having worked that much with STR, I really don't know what my normal gauge should be, so I am knitting the humble swatch. Nona would be so proud . . . except it's nothing special. I started out with my Addi 1s (mistake) so I switched to the Addi 0s (much better). Now, all I have to do is pick a pattern that I like and I am off. But first . . .

The title (and the next photo) says it all. Never mind that I really like this Alice Cooper song. Never mind that I listened to a really interesting interview on "Fresh Air with Terry Gross" with Alice. Never mind that he sounds like a throughly enjoyable dude. The fact is that the end of the year truly sucks the life out of me. I calculated the number of hours it will take me to grade all the work that I have and right now or 460 papers/letter/quizzes from 115 students, I am looking at 30 plus hours. What is any self-respecting girl to do? Okay, what would I do? I realize that "self-respecting" shit probably threw you off for a second.

Here's an idea: let's go shopping, Flyer. Not any shopping - book shopping. Let's go to the Scholastic Book Warehouse Sale and buy books for my nephews and nieces and me and my students and you (if you're good). So, that's what we did earlier today. Lola, I think I bought Gus about fifteen books and double that amount for Beaner and her brother. K and M are getting several tomes as well as my students for next year with several new additions to my library. Scholastic even sells a graphic novel of Beowulf!

After book shopping, we headed over to the Mall at Steamtown. If you watch The Office, and I know you do, Lola, you will regonize the name from several episodes, most recently the one in which Micheal takes the ladies to Victoria's Secret. Imagine our surprise to find Angela Kinsey and Brian Baumgartner signing autographs for Office fans today! The line stretched all the way back to Lake Scranton (okay, not quite that far - that would be four miles away), so we didn't wait for a chance to say, "Love the show . . . it's even better than the Brits," because I have grading to do. Instead, I snapped a photo from afar and headed home with my Dunder Mifflin shirt in tow.

I promise to knit this week . . . the end of the school year can't come fast enough! Cheers and congrats to Betty and Veronica for their induction into the National Honor Society and for being in the top ten percent of their class. You do yo' mamma proud!

Ava

PS - How do you like the lovely "hand modeling" job with the acrylics? I spent two hours taking them off. Never again will I try to stop biting my hang nails this way; I don't see how Mom can stand them. And don't you think that Pam, Angela, Mindy, and the gals should start a knitting night? Just a thought!

Wasted

I've never been so excited to see Dr. Phil flash those judgmental eyes at me!  Because if he's flashing, it means I'm not in the car.  Oh thank you Doc!  You are so right, you can't teach a drowned possum how to swim. 

In this shittiest of shitty weeks, I managed to find a couple nuggets of Glee. I picked up another coffee mug that looks like a paper cup.  For some unexplained reason, I love these cups.   I not sure how I'd add to the collection.  Maybe if they released a 80's McDonald's coffee cup.  Fat chance, huh?

I started ripped strips for Gus' big boy quilt.  I've decided that I'm just going to hodge-podge it up & rip different widths, cut random blocks & sew them all together.  After doing a little bit of research (anyone recommend a good How-to Quilt Book?), quilting demands an understanding of color.  I don't really feel like trying to understand one more thing, so I'm sticking with these colors: Reds, Greens, Black & White.  I should be OK.  Right?  Maybe toss in some orange?  Who am I kidding, it's going to look like a rainbow puked all over his bed.  Another bright note of the week, I got the Tattoo fabric very early this morning. 

Here's a goal for the weekend, Finish the Ribby sleeves!  If I write it down, it has to happen.  That's what Oprah says.

Have a fabulous weekend.  I demand a lovely post about school letting out or the mischievous adventure of B & V.
-Lola
p.s. Anyone else cry when Jim walked in on Pam's interview? 

Icky Thump

The next sentence is one that rarely ever comes out of my mouth, but here goes.  I really wish I worked in an office.  I wish someone would lean over & into my cubicle to tell me about their husband's warts.  I wish that I could fake my surprise when Sally tells me about Frank From Accounting's affair with the supervisor.  I wish that I could sign my name to the office birthday card.  Oh god, I wish.  I have been driving about 18 hours this week & have no fun souvenirs to show.  Nope, not even a little Kentucky borboun.  Just a soar ass.  My weeks aren't usually this full of car time, but shit people!  Let me tell you some things about the road that have irritated/enraged/piqued my interest the past week:

• A very young women had a Pope John Paul card wedged on her dashboard.  Just made me wonder.
• For the amount that I drive, I don't have a lot of road rage issues.  However, I broke down yesterday and screamed at a passing car.  I had my signal on for about a mile & this woman wouldn't let me over.  Then at another point on the highway, she wouldn't let me over & forced me onto another highway.  I made sure that she saw my level of insanity by waving my arms and calling her the C-Word.  I did it very slow just so she knew what I was saying.
• If I hear Home one more time, I'm throwing my Sirius receiver at the next passing C-Word.
• If I don't get at least 2 beeps from truckers, I'm throwing on a skirt for tomorrow's drive.  Yep. I'm that bored and any amount of praise is accepted.
• Recently, we've had a tragedy in our extended family.  When you spend a lot of time alone & you've passed the same shit all week, personal issues can consume you if you aren't careful.   So today as I drove, I had to fight off the throat lump that only grief & anger can create. 

Here's a shot of my filthy car once again to prove it is my home.

I take a project hoping that I'll get a row in, but then it taunts me "Pull over.  Come on knit a row.  Take a nap while you're at it"  I'm knitting the Ribby Cardi's sleeves all at once.  Next time, please remind me that this sucks!  Yes, I get them both done at once, but it isn't worth wrestling 2 balls of yarn. 

Thank you so much for all of the Sock comments!  I decided on the Cops stitch pattern.  I tried the Pregnant pattern, but after a couple rows it proved that I'd have to concentrate more than I want to at this time.  The Cops pattern is also fitting at this time.  While I'm driving I think, "I've seen Cops enough.  I could probably work in a Pit Maneuver on that Accord."  With that, I'll leave you.  Who needs all this bitterness anyway?
-Lola

p.s. Look at the picture below & tell me what's wrong!  Gus & SK visited the grandparents this weekend.  Here's what I saw when they got into the house.  See anything a little off?

Comfortably Numb

There is nothing better than the feeling that a project has been completed. Okay, maybe scoring that perfect yarn at a 50% off discount or being told by the manufacturer that you are their best customer and all of your purchases will now be free might top it, but finishing a project is tops in my book . . . probably because I do it so infrequently during the school year. That, my dear Lola, is quickly coming to an end. We have about 20 actual school days left and when you take out half days, field trips, awards assemblies, and the like, it is down to about 15 teaching days left. Goodbye current crop of really good students, hello yarn!

This week was very productive in a way that hasn't been for so, so very long. I finished the Chevron (more this week after it blocks) and last weekend, I finished Shedir. It really should have dawned on my before yesterday that Shedir translates to breast in some language. It took one of my favorite episodes of Coupling to do it. Coupling is one of the strongest and funniest ensemble shows ever written. If I were to say, "Lesbian Spank Inferno," how many of you would know what I was talking about? Seriously, rent the DVDs, find it on BBC America, whatever - just watch this show.

Oh, I was talking about knitting, not a funny show from England. Shedir was a dream to knit. Thank you again, Lola, for the cableless directions. It would not have been fun with a cable needle. As for the yarn, I cannot say enough positive things about Calmer. Do you hear that nice people at Rowan? I love this yarn . . . send some freebies my way. Next up in Calmer is this "hug-me-tight" in chocolate. When I knit this pattern again for myself (Veronica has claimed it for football games . . . it's a losing battle), I think I may decrease a round of repeats as it was really long. For my sister-in-law, I'll keep all the repeats. Thanks to the Flyer for the photo; he was trying to capture the mischievous glint in my eye.

Lola and I went on a Socks That Rock buying binge this week. Okay, she only bought one skein, I bought three. Guess which one is hers . . . go on, guess. I am planning on using Undertoe for my sock pal because I know that she is a member of the Rockin' Sock Club and I like the colorway. Now, the dilemma - do I go with plan A and make the Queen of Cups socks for her or plan B in which I make up something totally unique? I just don't know. Plan A was the original choice because I thought she might like the tarot connection (based upon her website), but I am so used to doing toe-up and magic loop right now that I don't know if I can go back to the "other" way. Any suggestions?

Since it is Mother's Day, and a very happy one to two of our favorite new ones, I thought we would give you a little info on our dear mother.
- she was a stay-at-home mom for most of our lives and it was a good thing
- she always told us that boys were a bother and why worry about them
- she chastised us for punching each other in the boob because it would lead to breast cancer
- she made us play with one another whether we wanted to or not
- she says she doesn't have favorites (note the title of the blog)
- she sews like nobody's business and always made sure we had the latest "designer" clothes
- she knows how to knit, but likes it better when we make stuff for her
- she made all three of her daughters' wedding dresses for less than $50 each
- she falls asleep 30 minutes into any drive (so she calls when she has to drive so she stays awake)
- she doesn't like British films because they aren't speaking English
- she would do just about anything for her kids and grandkids
- she doesn't know about this blog

So, on your list of things to do this week: watch Coupling, guess which STR skein is Lola's, and help me make a decision on plan A or plan B for my sock pal's socks. Enjoy the weekend - it's lovely here in the Poconos!

Ava