About four years ago, I made the comment that I didn't really believe in stress. I might have even gone so far as to say that it was all made up so that people could feel better about the choices that they make. Funny little thing . . . stress. I kind of think that it isn't made up after all. For some reason, this is the busiest that I have been in a long time, and I'm feeling a little stressed. Huh.
A few days ago, a friend at work said, "You look really tired." First, don't say that to someone you like. Second, I wasn't that tired. Third, I almost burst into tears. Since the girls left for school in August, I've been doing more at work, and I think that it's starting to catch up to me. There have been some really late nights, especially when I get up at 5 AM for work, with some shitty eating habits to boot. Couple that with the Race to the Top initiative and trying to stay on top of that plus attempting to use data as never before with my kids (and when I say kids, I really mean my students . . . the girls - mine, the kids - they go home at 2:25 PM to some other mother), and you can see how my candle is getting rather short. Add to that whole mix the fact that I hate, despise, detest this time of year like no other. In addition, the Flyer is traveling a lot lately, which means that it is just me, the cat, and the dog in the house.
So, what does that mean for knitting? You would think that I would turn to knitting as my salvation in my time of, ahem, need . . . but no, even that has taken a back burner to work. I signed up for the Knitting Olympics at the shop, did a gauge swatch (really, I should get credit for doing that) but got 21.5 stitches instead of the 17 that I was looking for. Choices, choices, choices . . . do I recalculate and knit the sweater I intended, knowing I probably won't finish? Do I find a new project using stash yarn? Problem is, I can't figure out the answer. The Flyer wants to visit friends of ours in Alexandria and take in the Terra Cotta warriors during the Olympics; my first thought: how will this impact my knitting plan. Not: won't it be nice to see our friends or how awesome to see the statues . . . but how will I be able to knit my project. Honestly, I think that this is adding to my stress.
So, that's about it . . . poor little old me . . . stressed about data and federal stimulus money and events I couldn't and can't control and my girls and the Flyer flying and Olympic knitting. It's no wonder that my friend said I looked tired . . . I'm amazed that she resisted the urge to say I looked like shit. Somehow, amidst all this crap I managed to finish something of which I am proud. Rose's Wrist Warmers might be the nicest project I've finished in a long time.
Ava, who will stop bitching now
PS - Oh, and I am totally sucking at uploading photos for the photo a week group I joined on Flickr. Stress doesn't exist my ass . . . whoever said that was a crazy bitch.