I don't embarrass easily. My face might turn red real quick, but I'm not embarrassed. I took a lot of the I-Don't-Give-a-Fuck gene from my dad. Actually I think that Ava & I snatched up all the IDGaF gene & left our siblings with nothing. Other Sister might want some of this gene, but it isn't a great thing to have running through your veins.
I think that I fully shave (3 fingers past the knee) my legs twice a year. I half-ass shave maybe 6 more times a year. That's being generous. Pedicured toes & well moisturized feet are not something that trek through my house. Loud in a store? Yep, that's me. Poop conversations. Yep, I'll have 'em with your Grandma. An almost completed sweater that's just not "doing" it for me, I'll frog it & not think twice. Most of the time I just don't give a fuck.
But lately, I've been feeling a new emotion. There's something that the IDGaF gene hasn't attacked yet. I feel very uncomfortable taking pictures. I'm good when my kids are in the frame. If they aren't there, I can't seem to take a picture without a lot of inner drama. And if I do fire off a shot, I feel almost ridiculous posting the picture for friends & family. Maybe it's because I really have no clue what I'm doing when it comes to taking pictures. Maybe it's because I might have to defend why I choose to shoot a a coffee cup. And my defense is always so simple: It was pretty. Do people get that defense?
This emotion is troubling because I've been thinking a lot about photos. When I'm on the road, I'll see a barn & think, "Look at the sky. That'd be a nice photo." Or "Hmm, that's an interesting sign I'd like to remember." But when you don't have the IDGaF gene working in your favor, it makes whipping out a camera difficult. Why would I worry about what strangers are thinking about the crazy woman & her camera? I don't like this feeling. I need to find that gene & show it the camera.
There must be something to cure this aliment. Does it come in pill form?